I think I speak for everyone when I say that yoga is bullsh*t

Yoga is once again rearing its ugly, boring head in the world of exercise. It revives itself as a mainstream activity every few years when people have had some time to forget how ridiculous it is and a whole new crop of suckers take up this form of (I use this word very, very loosely) “exercise.”

Let’s start with the pants…maybe for guys there is some benefit to wearing “hotel convention center” pants (with extra ballroom), but any exercise that lends itself to wearing special clothing is not my kind of exercise. If you can’t do it in t-shirt and shorts then move onto something else. The last thing I need is an exercise that requires a sense of fashion to participate in.

Next, there’s this relaxation business – what’s that all about? Exercise should be invigorating, not put you into a coma. Turn on some of that dopey New Age background music, then drone on and on in a monotone voice and I’m in Snooze City and the yoga instructor is the mayor.

Can you stand on one leg with the other leg stuck out at an unnatural angle for minutes at a time? I doubt that I can but I KNOW that I don’t want to. Exercise should be like backgammon – you should be able to learn to do it halfway decently in a few minutes, not a few years.

What NOT to do in a health club - Part I

If you spend a lot of time in the gym (as I do, being a self-proclaimed fitness guru) you probably see some goofy stuff, and unfortunately a lot of it is by middle aged folks, who you think would know better.

One of the topics I'll talk about every now and then is how to avoid irritating your fellow man (I mean that in a gender non-specific way) when at the gym. If you have a story to tell about stupid gym behavior that you want to unburden yourself from, I'd love to hear about it.

Here's today's tip on what NOT to do at a gym: don't camp out on the equipment like you're the only one in the world who wants to use it. Sure, you have the right to use a piece of equipment as long as you need it, but parking your can on one machine for 20 minutes? That's just hacky!

I was at the gym yesterday, and a 60-something fellow was "occupying" (as opposed to doing anything) one of only two leg press machines at the gym. The other was also being used. So I skipped that exercise and went on with my workout, checking back after every exercise. Every time, the guy is still "occupying" the machine. Since I am trying to emulate the Thomas Jefferson model of statesman-like behavior I don't ream the old guy out. Finally, 20 minutes later the guy was gone.

Please don't interpret my rantings as meaning everyone should be rushing to make room for the next person; that's not the point. But, even at three or four sets with 1-1/2 minutes rest between (that's the high end of the range that self-proclaimed experts like myself suggest) the total time on a machine is maybe 7 or 8 minutes, absolute max.